Forgotten Memories and Found Love
by Post U Later
Summary: With Allen remembering suppressed memories every time he sleeps, how will his newly remembered past alter the Allen that we've all come to know & love? And what happens when Kanda of all people, tries to help? Rated M for rape & child molestation. Yullen. HIATUS!
1. Ch1 Dream of the Forgotten Past

**Forgotten Memories and Found Love**

* * *

><p>Konbanwa Everyone! Yes that is Japanese for 'good evening' ^_^<p>

This is my first Fanfic Ever! It's a Yullen. I hope that you like it.

_**Yay For Yaoi!**_

* * *

><p>I don't own -man, But so far I have all 20 vol. in English ^_^W8ing 4 vol. 21<p>

Well here's the first, and hopefully not he last, Chapter!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 1: <strong>

_**Dream Of The Forgotten Past?**_

**"Gah!"** Allen screamed, coughing up blood as he's thrown against a wall. After fighting akuma for the last 24 hours straight, Allen was exhausted. Covered in blood, cuts, and bruises, Allen struggled to get to his feet. As he looked up, the akuma grabbed him by the collar and hurled him through a building, causing it to collapse atop him.

"You Exorcists aren't all that strong. I wonder what the Earl was so worried about?" Said the akuma, as it jumped onto the rubble of the once standing building.

Just as the akuma was about to leap into the air, Allen's left arm shot up from the destroyed building and grasped hold of the akuma.

"Well you shouldn't be thinking i'm dead just yet, you damned akuma!" Allen said as he crawled from the ruins.

"Hmm? You were still alive? I guess you Exorcists have a little resilience." Spouted the akuma.

Allen launched the akuma into the air.

"Heh. You think think that will hurt me?." The akuma said stopping himself in mid air. He looked down where the Exorcist had thrown him from only to fine that there wasn't anyone there. "Ha! Trying to hide from me now are you?"

"Only If you can't follow my movements." Allen said, appearing behind the akuma.

"No! How did you..." He was stopped short by Allens Innocence plunging through his chest, destroying it.

Just as Allen had killed the akuma, Kanda and a finder showed up. Allen, still in the sky saw Kanda and screamed, "'Bout time you guys showed up!"

"Zip it Moyashi!" Kanda spat back.

"Good thing your here! Because i don't think I can take anymore of this." Allen said as he lost consciousness. Still about 50 feet in the air Allen started to plummet.

"Kanda-san! If Allen-san fall from that hight with those injuries, he could die!" Said the finder.

"Damn that Moyashi! Always giving me a hard time!" Growled Kanda as he leaped into the air to catch Allen.

"Kanda-san! How is he!" Screamed the finder as he ran toward Kanda holding the unconscious Allen.

"Figures, he's out like a light." Kanda said. "Now I have to take care of the rest of these guys."

A large amount of akuma encircled them.

"Here. Hold this will ya?" Kanda said passing Allen to the finder. "You protect that and I'll take care of this in the blink of an eye."

* * *

><p><em>(Kanda Kicked some serious akuma ass. Now Kanda and the finder, are sitting next to each other in a train car. Allen is laying on the other seat unconscious.)<em>

"What should we do?" Said the finder.

"What do you mean? When we get to the Order just throw him in the infirmary. What else?" Kanda said With a displeased look on his face.

"But that's still a whole day away. Why hasn't he woken up yet?" The finder said worried about his friend.

"Who cares? He fought for 24 hours and couldn't take. What a wimp passing out like that." Kanda said, hoping that Allen could hear his insult in his subconscious.

"Kanda-san! That's to much! Remember that Allen-san has a parasite type innocence. He hadn't eaten anything for almost 36 hours before he had to fight all those akuma. He is starving as we speak. He needs food soon or he could die." Warned the finder.

"He can make it another 24 hours without any food. Besides how is he supposed to eat when he's unconscious like that?" Kanda rebutted.

"Well you have a point there. He can't eat if he isn't awake." The finder said in a defeated tone.

"See. Just wait till we get to the Order." Said Kanda as he leaned his head on the window. "Now be quiet i'm going to rest till we arrive."

* * *

><p><em>(They arrived at the Black Order and Allen was taken to the infirmary. Kanda went to the cafeteria.)<em>

"Hey Yu. How was the clean up?" Lavi said as he sat across from Kanda.

"Well if you call me by my name again, you'll find out." Kanda growled.

Brushing his threat aside Lavi said, "So how is Allen? Why isn't he here with you?"

"Moyashi's in the infirmary. Apparently he couldn't stand not eating for a few days." Kanda said slurping noodles.

"What Allen didn't eat anything! For days!" Lavi Screamed.

Lenalee sitting a few tables away heard what Lavi had screamed and said, "What! Is that true?"

"That's what Yu said. He's with the nurse! We should go see if he's okay."

"I'm coming along with you" Lenalee said.

* * *

><p><em>(Kanda finished his food and went to his room. Lavi and Lenalee headed towards the nurses office.)<em>

Lavi stuck his head through the door to the infirmary and yelled "Hello? Head Nurse? Is Allen awake?"

"Shh! Be quiet. Allen-kun hasn't woken up yet."

Both Lavi and Lenalee walked in and saw Allen laying on the bed covered in bandages, with an IV in both arms.

"How is he Head Nurse? Do you know when he'll wake up?" Lenalee asked

"He's in a comma, so there's no telling when he'll wake up. We've tried everything. Even bringing in hot food." The Head Nurse sighed.

"Is there anything we can do?" Asked Lavi.

"Well for now he needs a quiet space to sleep so we're taking him to the isolated room to rest. You two should go to bed, it's late." Said the Head Nurse.

"Good night." Lavi and Lenalee said.

"Good night you two, sweet dreams."

* * *

><p><em>(NOTE: The 'isolated room' is a room with no windows and only one door and a bed. It also blocks sound from entering or exiting.)<em>

(In Allen's dream.)

"Wait! Don't leave me here! Please don't leave me alone again!" A young Allen pleaded grasping onto a mans sleeve. "I beg of you please don't leave me here alone in the darkness!"

"Hehehe" The man laughed as he shut a metal door locking Allen in a small room.

Allen hit the door screaming, **"No! Let me out! Let me out of here!"**

After several minutes Allen slid to his knees with tears flowing down his face. He curled up in the fetal position rocking back and forth with his eyes clenched shut. A loud bang against the door made Allen's head shot up. He ran to the door trying to keep it shut. However the person on the other side was to strong for the young boy and pushed the door open. Allen quickly backed away and his back hit the wall. A tall dirty man appeared and said with a large lust-filled smile, **"You're going to cooperate this time!"** He reached out and grabbed young Allen's shirt ripping it open. Young Allen turned and tried to run but the man had grabbed his trousers. Young Allen turned his head and looked at the man, young Allen could see a thirst he knew all to well in the mans eyes.

Young Allen terrified of what was happening to him, screamed at the top of his voice, **"Let me go! NOOOO!"**

* * *

><p>Allen shot up out of bed screaming. He looked around frantically. Seeing that he was in a small room with no windows, he panicked. Allen activated his innocence and Destroyed the door.<p>

The Head Nurse rushed in, "Allen-kun what's wrong? Are you okay?"

* * *

><p>Well I hoped you like the first chapter. If I can get at least a few reviews I'll put up another chapter. You can be as harsh as you want, I can take it. ^_^ So Please Review.<p>

Post U Later - ^_^


	2. Ch2 Scared Enough To Die

**Forgotten Memories and Found Love.**

* * *

><p>Konnichiwa(Good afternoon) Everyone! ^_^ I'm so glad that you liked it,<p>

Well I was planning to upload this Ch. on Sunday or Monday, but because people liked it so much(plus I was totally

bored today) I decided to finish and upload it now. ^_^ Uh oh I'm rambling,

Before I lose any fans, here's Chapter 2 of **Forgotten Memories and Found Love.**

I don't own -man, If I did, It'd probably be discontinued 'cuz I'm really lazy.

(That's a foreshadowing for my future. Don't hate me 'cuz I'm lazy)

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 2:<strong>

_**Scared Enough To Die**_

(Re-cap)

Allen shot up out of bed screaming. He looked around frantically. Seeing that he was in a small room with no windows, he panicked. He activated his innocence and destroyed the door.

The Head Nurse rushed in, "Allen-kun? Are you okay? What's wrong?"

(End Re-cap)

* * *

><p>"<strong>Ah! Get away from me!"<strong> Allen screamed still dazed and confused and holding his head, he rushed out of the infirmary unaware of where he was, or what he was doing. The Head Nurse rushed out meeting Lavi and Kanda outside the infirmary.

"What happened? I heard an explosion." Lavi said.

"It's Allen-kun. He blew up the door and ran down the hall. He didn't even recognize me when I tried to talk to him." Said the Head Nurse.

Lenalee and Komui along with Reever ran up and asked what had happened. The Head Nurse explained what had happened to them.

"Damn that Moyashi, what's he trying to pull?" Kanda said heartlessly.

"I don't know but we need to find him, and fast!" The Head Nurse exclaimed. "He has his innocence activated and he isn't afraid of destroying the property. We need to find him before he hurts himself or someone else."

They all got into groups and split up. Lavi and Reever wen to search the lab in one group, Lenalee, Komui, and the Head Nurse in another went to search rooms and Kanda went by himself to search the cafeteria and the training hall.

Kanda reached the cafeteria and called out for Allen but got no response. He had bet on Allen being there. He headed to the training hall.

"Che. Why do I have to search for someone I don't care about? Moyashi's a big boy, he doesn't need us looking for him." He complained, "He probably just went back to his roo..."** BAM!**

Kanda was interrupted by a crash coming from the training ground. He entered the training hall, but didn't see Allen. He turned to leave when he heard the faint sound of sobs.

"Moyashi? Is that you?" Kanda yelled. "If you're in here, you better come out now, or else! Don't make me go looking for you!"

Allen didn't come out. He heard the sound of pounding mixed in with the sobbing and followed it. He came to a door and opened it. He saw allen sitting there with a stake in his right hand covered in blood. Kanda looked down at Allen's innocence and saw that it had hugh gashes in it. Allen swung the stake into his innocence.

"**What the hell are you doing Moyashi!"** Kanda screamed as he ran to where Allen was. Allen turned to see an angry Kanda running toward him. Allen terrified, ran away to the other side of the room.

"**No! Don't come near me! Get away from me!"** Allen screamed with a terrified look on his face.

Kanda was shocked at how scared Allen was. He had never seen the boy look as scared as he was then. He decided that it was better to just give him some space. Kanda walked to the door was and called the other groups to the training grounds. As they got there they were completely shocked that Allen had nearly destroyed his own arm and at how scared he was of everyone. He would cringe every time one of them would even look in his direction, and he would shriek when they tried to walk close to him.

* * *

><p>"It's okay Allen-kun, we aren't going to hurt you. now come over here." Lenalee said across the room in the sweatest voice she had.<p>

Allen just cringed when she talked.

"Come on Allen, there's a whole bunch of nice, hot and delicious food just waiting in the cafeteria for you." Lavi tried.

Allen jumped in fear at every word Lavi said.

They all tried to coax Allen to come over to where they were, but to no avail, they only frightened him more. Kanda had had it up to the celling with Allen's attitude, and decided that force was the way to go. Kanda stomped over to where Allen was. Allen's Innocence deactivated as the others could only watch on as Kanda advanced toward the now helpless boy, everything they had tried, had failed. Allen was screaming is fear at every step that Kanda took and his face showed even more terror. Kanda stopped right in front of Allen.

"Come on Moyashi, we're taking you back to the infirmary. Now get up!" Kanda yelled.

Allen shook his head and trying to push Kanda away yelled,** "No! Get away! Stay away form me! Don't touch me!"**

Kanda was fed up and grabbed the young boy by the collar. **"You're going to cooperate you got that!"**

With that line, Allen froze with fear and tears poured down his face. Kanda was stunned. Everyone could see that Allen was crying. Kanda let go and Allen fell to the ground and locked arms around his knees.

Rocking back and forth Allen whispered to himself, "No more, please no more. Stop. Please stop. Please let me go." He seemed like he was in a trance. His eyes wide open, with tears flowing like nonstop rivers. They let Allen stay there till he fell asleep. It was nearly morning by the time they had carried him back to the infirmary. Lenalee and Lavi chose to stay by Allen's side while he slept. Komui and Reever went to work, and Kanda went to his room to get some sleep. After bandaging up Allen's arm the Head Nurse, exhausted from the nights search for Allen, also went to her room for some rest, leaving Lenalee in charge. As the morning came both Lenalee and Lavi fell asleep next to Allen's bed.

* * *

><p><strong>I hope that you like it. ^_^<strong>

**I'm not sure if Allen should be the same when he wakes up(scared & hysterical), or if he should remember everyone but not remember what happened the night before. I can't choose! Oh well I'll figure something out. Remember to review. I want at least 5 reviews this time.(Yeah I'm being greedy. XD) Thanx 4 reading**

**Post U Later - ^_^**


	3. Ch3 Not Hungry

**Forgotten Memories and Found Love**

* * *

><p><strong>*Blush* Wow can't believe how much you guys like It. I'm So Happy! I'm trying out some different ways to tell the story,<strong>

**tell me if you like them(i.e. Allen's POV)**

**Without further a-du, here's Chapter 3 of _Forgotten Memories and Found Love._**

* * *

><p><strong>I don't own -man, But I love to read it over, and over, and over, and over again.<strong>

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 3: <strong>_

_**Not Hungry**_

* * *

><p>(Re-Cap)<p>

It was nearly morning by the time they had carried him back to the infirmary. Lenalee and Lavi chose to stay by Allen's side while he slept. Komui and Reever went to work, and Kanda went to his room to get some sleep. After bandaging up Allen's arm the Head Nurse, exhausted from the nights search for Allen, also went to her room for some rest, leaving Lenalee in charge. As the morning came both Lenalee and Lavi fell asleep next to Allen's bed.

(End Re-Cap)

* * *

><p>(<strong>Allen's Dream<strong>)

'Allen's POV'

As I regained consciousness, I could feel the cold air blow over my exposed body. I sat up and looked at my shredded pants. I could feel the tears coming. I clenched my eyes and shook my head to stop the tears from starting. My legs were covered with scratches and hickeys. I felt so violated. I tried to stand up and walk, but the pain from my lower back was to excruciating. I slipped on an extra pair of pants, the men always left them for me to wear so that my master wouldn't notice the wounds that they inflicted on me.

"Hurry master. I'm tired." I said, waiting like I usually did. I sat down and leaned against the wall, exhausted, I waited for my master, and like always, my master came to pick me up. When ever I didn't come back for the night he would always assume that I was working over night to pay some off his debt.

"Your here again huh? It's nice that you work so hard to pay my debts for me." He said, in his roundabout way of thanking me. "So what was it this time that they made you do? Plow the fields all night? Clean and cook for them?"

"No. They had me clean the stables and fix their roof this time." I said with a horse voice. "I'm tired. Can we go home master?"

Every time he asked what type of work I did, I always made something up. I never told him the truth, so he never knew what was really happening to me. I was just to ashamed to tell him, plus if U I did tell him, I wasn't sure if he'd kill the men, or if he would(In his drunkenness) think that it was a great way to get money. I just shuddered at the thought.

"Yeah, you stink." Cross said holding his nose. "You definitely need a shower tonight."

Once we got back home I ran to the shower, not even stoping to say hi to Timcampy. I scrubbed my self for nearly an hour. I would usually scrub till I bled but tonight I was more tired than usual. I went to my room and locked the door. I lay on the bed clenching my pillow into my face, and cried myself to sleep.

(End Dream)

* * *

><p>When Allen woke up he looked around and saw Lenalee and Lavi asleep in chairs next to his bed. He didn't want to wake them up, for he knew that he had caused them quite a bit of trouble the night before and wanted them to rest. Quietly he got up and left the room. He wandered about the castle just walking with no intended destination. When he realized that he had ended up at the cafeteria he turned around and was going to go to his room, when Jerry, the Cook, called him over.<p>

"Hey! Allen-kun. I heard that you were pretty banged up on your mission." Jerry said with a smile. "Are you okay to be walking around?"

"No, I'm quite alright," Allen said with a soft smile, looking at his bandaged arm. "Thank you for worrying about me though."

"No problem Allen-kun," Jerry said looking relived, "So do you want your usual amount of food for lunch? Or are you up for a bit more? I'll make what ever you want in order of your good health."

"Thanks, but I'm not hungry, I'm just going to go to bed. I wont be having dinner either." Allen said walking out of the cafeteria.

Jerry dropped the ladle that he had been holding and just stood there. He was filled with shock that Allen, who was know for eating a 10 course meal then asking if there were seconds more than 2 times a day, had just said that he would be skipping lunch **and** dinner. He knew something was wrong, but he didn't know what to do. He went back to work while thinking of something he could do.

* * *

><p>(Later Kanda is sitting in the Cafeteria waiting for his Soba to be ready when Lavi and Lenalee rush through the doors.)<p>

"**KANDA/YU!" **Lenalee and Lavi screamed.

"**Bastard Usagi!** If you call me by my name one more time!"

"Allen is missing again!" Lavi yelled interrupting Kanda.

"When we woke up few minutes ago he was just gone!" Lenalee said out of breath.

"Well what do I care?" Kanda said with a harsh tone.

"Kanda! What are you talking about?" Lenalee said "How can you say you don't care?"

"Because I don't," Kanda said getting up from the table, trying to avoid her eyes. "Now if you don't mind, I'm going to get my food."

As Kanda started walking toward the kitchen window, he saw Jerry Walking with his food. "Thanks for the food Cook." Kanda said expecting Jerry to give him his Soba.

Jerry walked right past Kanda and set his food on the table, and walked away with a worried look on his face. Kanda, Lavi and Lenalee watched as Jerry bumped into person after person walking back to the kitchen. They know that there's something wrong. The trio walk over to the kitchen window.

"Hey Jerry, are you okay?" Lenalee asks.

"..."

"Hey Jerry, you okay in there?" Lavi asks.

"Huh? Oh hello guys, what can I make for you today?" Jerry asked not hearing their worry.

"Hey Cook. What's the matter with you?" Kanda asked.

"What do you mean I'm fine."

"No you aren't." Kanda counters. "You passed me with my own food and bumped into like five people on your way back to the kitchen."

"What's wrong?" Lenalee asks.

"Well now that you mention it," Jerry says realizing that they're right, "I'm worried about Allen-kun."

"What? Did Allen come to the cafeteria!" Lavi asks.

"Well I don't think that he was going to come in at first but I called him in."

"And what happened?" Kanda asks sarcastically, "Did he eat to much?"

"Well that's just it, I offered to cook him whatever he wanted and how ever much he wanted." The cook describes. "But he said that he wasn't hungry and that he was going to skip dinner too."

"What? He should be begging for food by now." Kanda says in a worried tone. Everyone looked at him in surprise. "All he's had in the last four and a half days is two IV's. He hasn't eaten any real food in almost a week."

"**WHAT?"** Jerry, Lavi, and Lenalee screemed simultaneously.

"We need to find Allen-kun now." Lenalee said "I'm going to get my brother to send out an alarm to find Allen-kun."

"Good Idea Lenalee." Lavi said. "Then me and Yu will go search for him on our own."

"I'll look in the rooms and the court yard, you go look in the library and the on the roof." Kanda said spouting orders like a troop leader. "Lenalee, tell Komui to send a search team to each of the Labs and one to the basement, but tell them not to engage with Allen. And make sure that Komui doesn't tell anyone that he's a threat. I don't think that he'll hurt anyone, besides himself. Got that!"

"Yes." Lenalee agreed.

"Right." Lavi complied. "Lets go."

* * *

><p><strong>Oh no what's going to happen to Allen? Will he starve to death or will they find him in time? Find out next time! Please review. I want a few please. (not being to greedy this time. XD) I Just Want To Be Luved! :3 Will Probably Upload Next Week... College is a time sucker. Lol<strong>

**Post U Later - ^_^**


	4. Ch4 Seems To Be The Only Way Out

**Forgotten Memories and Found Love**

* * *

><p>Hey everyone. I wrote this while listening to the song '<em>Pictures of You'<em> by '**The Last Good Nights' **So it's going to be a little depressing. Get your tissues ready.

Abracadabra and here's Chapter 4 of **Forgotten Memories and Found Love.**

* * *

><p>I don't own -man, And it makes me so sad that I don't T-T<p>

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 4: <strong>_

_**Seems To Be The Only Way Out**_

* * *

><p>(Re-Cap)<p>

"I'll look in the rooms and the court yard, you go look in the library and the on the roof." Kanda said spouting orders like a troop leader. "Lenalee, tell Komui to send a search team to each of the Labs and one to the basement, but tell them not to engage with Allen. And make sure that Komui doesn't tell anyone that he's a threat. I don't think that he'll hurt anyone, besides himself. Got that!"

"Yes." Lenalee agreed.

"Right." Lavi complied. "Lets go."

(End Re-Cap)

* * *

><p>Allen opened the door to his room and Timcampy flew out and circled around his head.<p>

"There you are Tim." Allen said with a forced smile. "Come on. Let's go somewhere more private. I need you to do me a favor."

A tear ran down Allen's face and fell to the ground as he looked into the room he had been in for the last few years and he remembered the times he had had with the Order. Tim tilted his round head to the side and flapped his wings before landing softly on Allen's head. Allen, leaving his door slightly open, walked down the hall toward the court yard. As Allen and Tim entered the court yard Tim flew off Allen's head and gestured that they should turn around.

"Come on Tim." Allen lifted his hand gesturing for Tim to land on it. "I need you."

Tim reluctantly flew over to Allen and perched itself on his hand. Allen shut and locked all the doors that led to the court yard and sat in the middle with Tim.

"Tim I need you to record some messages to Master, and the Order for me," Allen said with a determined yet sad look on his face. "Once I'm done, I want you to bring Master to the Order so you can give them the the Messages. Do you understand?"

Tim nodded and got ready to record the messages.

"Ready?" Allen said as Tim started recording, "Hello, this is me Allen Walker."

* * *

><p>Kanda Ran from room to room, bursting in checking the bathroom, under the bed and in the closet before going to the next room. When he got to Allen's room he noticed that the door was slightly open. He rushed in to see that no one was there. He was disappointed. He looked around to see if he could see anything that would tell him where the silver haired boy could have gone. As Kanda turned to leave he noticed a wet spot on the ground just outside the door. He could tell that Allen had been there, and by the amount of liquid that was left from the obvious tear, he knew that he had just missed him by a few minutes. Kanda ran searching the last few rooms at a supersonic speed. He rushed to the court yard, only to find the door locked. He placed his ear to the door to see if he could hear if Allen was inside and he could hear a low mumble, he just make out what it was saying.<p>

"...loved you. Please don't disappear about me and continue to like happy lives without me. And Master, Please don't blame yourself, you had no idea and I chose not to tell you. Thank you for everything, my dear friends, and goodbye." Allen said finishing his message. "Okay I'm done Tim. You can stop recording now."

Allen sighed and gestured to Tim to leave. Tim flew around Allen's head, not wanting to leave Allen's side for he knew what Allen was going to do once he left.

"Go Tim." Allen said almost choking on his words, "I told you to leave and get master once I was done. Now **GO!**"

Tim was about to fly away when him and Allen heard a bang on the door. Kanda yelled threw the door, **"Moyashi! I know you're out there! You better open this door right NOW!"**

Allen kept quiet knowing that if he opened the door he would only have to deal with an angry Kanda, and he already had enough to do as it was. He needed to get Tim going before he could do anything, and he knew Tim wouldn't leave if he was being attacked by Kanda.

Kanda, on the other hand, knew he needed to get outside before Allen tried anything. Normally he would just slice the door down with his Mugen, However, Komui had reenforced all the doors to the outside so that they would be nearly indestructible to defend against the Akuma and Noah. Kanda frantically looked for a way to get out into the court yard.

"Go Tim!" Allen said trying to get Tim to go look for their Master. "I'll be fine, Kanda can't get out here anyway, so leave!" Allen grabbed Tim and hurled him into the air far away from himself. "**GO!**"

Tim knew that he had to go get Master Cross and leave Allen there, if not to for the message, but more for Allen. Reluctantly, Tim started to fly away. Suddenly a dark blur flew from a high window and Tim was snatched out of the air. Allen looked around but couldn't find where Tim had gone.

"Hello, this is me Allen Walker. This is a message to my friends and to my Master, Cross..."

Allen jerked his head up to see Kanda holding the golem at the top of a tree. Tim was broadcasting the message he had just recorded.

"**Kanda! Let Tim GO!"** Allen Screamed. "Please Kanda, Just let Tim go."

"No Moyashi," Kanda said. "You recorded this for us to here, and ALL of us are going to listen to it right here and right now."

Allen heard the door behind him hit the wall. He turned around to see Lavi, Linalee, and and Komui standing in the doorway. Allen turned back to Kanda and started to shake uncontrollably. His head flew up as he heard Tim continue his message.

"... I would just like to say thank you, to all of you who are listening to this I truly will miss all of you."

"**Tim STOP!"** Allen yelled desperately. "I told you you can't let that play till you get Master!"

Tim continued playing the message ignoring Allen's pleas.

"I would also like to give my fellow exorcists and apology for all the trouble I caused in my final hours of life. Yes I am now no longer living. I have taken my own life."

Everyone gasped at what Allen had recorded. He planed to kill himself? Allen began to sob and tears ran down his face. Suddenly he heard a familiar voice.

"So you were planing to have Tim come get me after you had killed yourself huh?" The voice said as a figure stepped out from the shadows of the tree Kanda and Tim were in. It Was General Cross. "Really now. I know I taught you better than to commit suicide."

Allen sat helplessly in horror staring at his master, then turning away in what seemed to be shame and anger mixed into one. Lenalee and Lavi walked from the doorway to Allen's side. Lavi went to put his hand on Allen's shoulder, Allen hit it away screaming, "Don't touch me!" Allen seamed more scared of the boys touch rather than being angry about it. Cross seemed rather surprised, he had never seen Allen that scared of a single touch. Except, now that he thought about it, for those rare nights when Allen was a kid, exhausted from working all night. Kanda leaped from the tree landing next to Cross. Cross looked over and took Tim from Kanda. Tim continued to play the message.

"I felt that I could not go on living anymore, and I'll tell you all why. When I was young and paying off my Master's debts, unbeknownst to my Master,"

Cross looked down at Allen. There was something that Allen hid from him? Allen would usually tell his master everything. He was shocked, there was supposed to be nothing that he didn't know about Allen.

"There were certain people my master owed lots of money to, more than the normal amount, and they were the old men who would usually be the suppliers of Masters wine."

For a split second, everyone looked at Cross with daggers, for they thought this was his debts fault.

"At fist when I worked for them, I did normal jobs like: doing the laundry, plowing their grape fields, or helping barrel the wine. However after a while they wanted something more."

Everyone, including Cross, looked down at Allen who was crying and holding his face close to his knees.

The message continued.

"They wanted something from me besides my manual labor. And that was my body."

**...To Be Continued.**

* * *

><p><strong>Wow! I can't believe that I just wrote that! DX I feel so bad for him. T-T Told you it would be depressing. Review Please. I know that this is supposed to be a Yullen, and it seems to be more of a CrossxAllen but I promise you that there will be Yullen in just a few chapters okay? So just hold on! Reviews make me want to write lemony stuff so, the more reviews I get the faster I'll write and the quicker I upload. So, You + Review = Faster Upload = Less Time To Wait Till The Smexy Stuff. X3<strong>


	5. Ch5 Explanation

**Forgotten Memories and Found Love**

* * *

><p>Hey everyone. I'm Glad That I Got Keep Getting Reviews. XD<p>

I'd like to thank: latechocox3 for reviewing every Ch. so far. Aww faithful readers.

Babalooie and here comes Chapter 5 of **Forgotten Memories and Found Love.**

* * *

><p>I don't own -man, If I did, there would be a lot more trauma in the Allen's past and present. XD<p>

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 5: <strong>_

_**Explanation**_

* * *

><p>(Re-Cap)<p>

Cross had shown up and Tim played the message that Allen had recorded. Everyone was in shock as the image of Allen, that Tim displayed, was saying that people that Cross owed money to wanted his body over his manual labor. And with Allen crying, unable to bear the thought of all his friends listening to the message right in front of him what will he do?

(End Re-Cap)

* * *

><p>"They wanted something from me besides my manual labor. And that was my body."<p>

Allen was sobbing into his knees with his arms wrapped around his head. A look of horror in his eyes that spelt death if anyone could have seen them. Tim continued to play the message.

"That's right, almost twice a month for an entire year, I was molested and raped by those old men. They would lock me in a small room, no bigger than a closet, with no windows and a metal door. Even when I begged and pleaded they would rape me over and over till I passed out. And after they were done with me they would just throw me on a bed till my Master would pick me up not knowing a thing. But that was also my fault, for I never told him or even hinted to him that I was in pain or terrified, actually I lied to him about it and for that I am truly sorry Master I didn't tell anyone about it. It was my fault that it happened and It was my fault that you never knew. And once we left the town, my mind gradually blocked it out, so I couldn't tell you after we left. I just had a blank spot in my memory of that entire year when I was 10."

Tim Stopped and everyone was in even more shock that Allen had recoded that. More than that, they were in shock that Allen blamed himself for what had happened. Just As Cross was about to take a step toward Allen, Kanda stomped over to Allen. Allen slowly looked up with tears rolling down his face. Kanda kneeled down and placed his hand on Allen's head. Allen, not to mention everyone else, was surprised by Kanda's gentle reaction to Allen's message. Allen was about to speak when all of a sudden Kanda gripped Allen's hair and pulled as hard as he could toward himself. Kanda let out a harsh screech which made everyone flinch from the unexpected sound piercing the air to there eardrums.

"MOYASHI!"

Then everyone opened their eyes when they heard a;

"THUD"

Everyone look with surprise when the say what had happened; Kanda had given Allen a harsh head butt. Allen seemed to be out cold from the impact and Kanda lifted Allen over his shoulder as everyone watched.

"Yu! What the hell is wrong with you!" Lavi yelled. "Why did you head but Allen-kun?"

"Quick get him to the nurse's station!" Lenalee Said hurrying to Allen to check his head for blood.

"The damn Moyashi was pissing me off and I figured we still needed to get him back to the infirmary before he hurt himself." Kanda calmly said

"But that doesn't mean you can just head butt him as hard as you could!" Komui claimed. "What if you gave him a concussion."

"Don't worry, I didn't head butt him with all my might." Kanda reasoned. "Besides."

"Besides what?" Cross said stepping into the conversation.

"He was about to attack you General." Kanda Stated. "You should be thanking me he was about to loose it and activate his innocence to stop the rest of the message from being heard."

"And how could you possibly know what he was going to do?" Questioned Cross.

Everyone looked at Kanda with an air of confusion. Had he seen something that the rest of them had missed?

"He was giving off his killing aura." Kanda said with a smirk. "He was going to pounce as soon as you were in reaching distance."

They were all in shock. They had never seen Allen with a 'killing aura' before. Allen had always has a kind aura, maybe an annoyed feeling or an angry or embarrassed aura, but never a killing aura.

"None of you may have seen it, but I have." Kanda said reassuring them it was real. "I saw if the very first mission me and the Moyashi went on."

Not even Cross had felt Allen's killing intent before, he was dumbstruck.

"He rarely shows it, so it's no surprise none of you have seen or felt it before." Kanda said as if he knew the silver haired boy better than everyone. "I'll take him to the infirmary to rest. He'll be out for awhile after the hit he got to the head." Kanda said turning to the door to walk out but then turning back around only to walk over to Cross.

"What?" Cross said in confusion.

"Che'" Kanda said. He grabbed the golden golem from the generals hand and walked back into the castle and down to the nurse's station.

"What was that about?" Lavi asked.

"No idea." Lenalee answered.

"General, did you really not know about this?" Lenalee asked Cross with a pained face. "Or should I ask; How could you not know!"

"Hold on a minute. How was I supposed to know about something like that?" Cross said defending himself. "He kept it a secret and never even showed a sign of abuse at that level."

"That's enough Lenalee." Komui said as he put his hand on his little sister's shoulder.

"But Nii-san?"

"I said that's enough." Komui had an over protective and harsh tone in his voice. "Leave the general alone. We should make sure Kanda got Allen to the infirmary all right."

"..."

"Lets go lenalee." Lavi said with a small smile. "I'll go with you."

"Fine. But this isn't over General!" Lenalee warned.

* * *

><p>"humph." Then general said as Lenalee and Lavi left the room leaving Cross and Komui alone to talk about what had just happened.<p>

"..."

"..."

"So are you sure you didn't know about this" Komui finally said to break the silence. "How did you know to come when you did?"

"..."

"Cross! Answer me!"

"Sigh, Tim is programed to send me a message when ever Allen is seriously hurt or emotionally unstable." Cross admitted. "He is usually as strong as an ox when it comes to emotions, but ever now an then he is hit with this un controllable emotional attack."

"What do you mean, 'emotional attack?'" Komui said looking for an answer. "Like what happened just now?"

"No nothing like what happened today." Cross said shaking his head. "It would only happen every few years or so, but he would usually become so hysterical without even knowing why. He was aware that it was happening but it was as if he couldn't do anything about it, and he didn't know what caused it."

"What would he do?"

"He would look himself in his room and cry." Cross described, "He would bang his head against the wall till either he began to bleed or the wall broke. It was as if he was trying to remember something."

"Well I guess what he was trying to remember." Komui said gesturing to Cross to follow him down the hall. They were on their way to the infirmary to make sure Allen was okay.

"He wouldn't let anyone enter and he would completely trash his room, always throwing everything in his drawers and closet across the floor." Cross continued, "He would rip his bed to pieces and hide in his closet. All the while crying and muttering some song."

"He muttered a song?" Komui asked curiously. "What song was it?"

"I have never heard the song, and I could only make out some of what he would say, but what I could hear was etched into my memory forever." Cross stopped, took his hat off and put his had through his long, red locks. He had a pained look on his face. "now I can clearly see why he would say what he did. He would say..."

* * *

><p><em>Oh you, why not smite so,<em>

_I'll take every one of your blows as a thanks._

_Take me with you beyond the clouds,_

_Please! Kill me here, kill me now._

_Take away this pain, even if it defies gods logic,_

_I don't care, turn me into a demon,_

_If only to take away take away the pain._

_Commodo Nex take mihi per sicco ut secundum universitas._

_Commodo solvo mihi ex is poena. Luguolo mihi_.*

...

* * *

><p>"I don't know the rest of the song." Cross stated. "And I don't know what the last two lines mean, but he would repeat them over and over."<p>

Komui and Cross stood there in a defining silence till Lavi came up to them.

"Hey Allen is safe in the infirmary and Kanda and Lenalee are keeping watch over him." Lavi reported.

"Oh that's good." Komui said. "Lavi can you translate something for us?"

"Sure, I can try?" Lavi said "What is it?"

"We aren't entirely sure at this point." Said Komui. "Cross will you say it again?"

"First is, '_Commodo Nex take mihi per sicco ut secundum universitas.'_" Cross said. "And second is..."

"_Commodo solvo mihi ex is poena. Luguolo mihi_" Lavi said cutting Cross off. "That's from the unholy bible**, believed to be what the Devil himself wrote in spite of God."

Cross and Komui looked at each other in shock.

"Where did you hear that from? No one is supposed to have knowledge of it except the Devil, Bookman, and supposedly the Millennium Earl." Lavi warned. "Where did you hear that from? You must tell me NOW!"

Cross and Komui looked from Lavi to each other with a troubled expression on their faces.

"What's wrong?" Lavi asked, "Tell me where you heard it from!"

"Lavi." Komui said "Just forget abou..."

Cross stopped Komui by placing his hand on the Chinese mans shoulder.

"Boy." Cross said with a harsh, yet sad tone that made Lavi freeze with fear of the answer he might get. "I heard it from a 13 year old Allen in the middle of an emotional breakdown."

Lavi's eye in sheer fright. Cross and Komui could see that Lavi was in a dilemma and wondered what was so wrong with the fraise.

"What boy?" Cross demanded. "What does it mean? And why do you look so terrified that I heard it from Allen?"

"..."

"Answer him Lavi." Komui ordered.

"The fraise means: ''Please release me from this pain. Please Death, take me with out to the after world. Kill me." Lavi decrypted the words. "And anyone who knows them is supposed to be, by the laws of the Black Orders' higher ups, ..."

"Continue boy." Commanded Cross. "What is supposed to happen to them."

"They are supposed to be arrested on sight and charged with treason against the Black Order and against God!"

* * *

><p><strong>OMG! Say What? Is Allen going to be charged with treason? Is he going to be arrested? When is the Yullen going to start? These may be some of the question spinning in your head at this very moment. But don't fret, my little dumblings, The Yullen will be coming up any chapter now. ^_^<strong>

**BTW If of you lectors*** could get the reviews for this chapter to reach at least 5 I would be most grateful. XD**

*** Commodo Nex take mihi per sicco ut secundum universitas. - Latin for 'Please release me from this pain.'**

**Commodo solvo mihi ex is poena. - Latin for 'Please Death, take me with out to the after world. '**

**Luguolo mihi. - Latin for 'Kill me.'**

**** The thing about the 'unholy bible,' I completely made that up.**

***** lectors - Latin for 'Reader.'**

**PS. My next Ch. will be a bit late no worries though. I made this Ch. extra long for that reason right there. XD**


End file.
